Should I Take My Child To A Funeral

Should I Take My Child To A Funeral

The loss of a loved one can be a traumatic time for families, and especially children, as it is a confusing time above anything else. When the loss of a close relative or friend occurs it can be difficult to explain to a young child where they have gone, and why everyone is behaving differently. On the opposite end of the scale, a child can brighten the mood on an otherwise difficult day by breaking up the formality of the service. Only you and your family will know the right decision for your circumstances.

There are several factors that can contribute to making the right decision for your family and circumstances regarding taking your child to a funeral. Most funeral directors in Sydney are very accommodating of children and have experience in helping families come to a decision when including children in the funeral or not.

 

A child's response to death

Children have varying levels of maturity and understanding when it comes to the passing of a loved one. Children at different ages react differently to death. It has been confirmed that a child under the age of 4 has difficulty processing death. Our Funeral Directors have experience helping families make the right decisions when deciding on how to say goodbye to their loved ones. Children can respond differently to open caskets, services where a cremation has taken place, and religious ceremonies outside of their daily routine.

 

The temperament of the child

Children go through emotional phases depending on their stage of development. Your child might be very polite and well mannered on most occasions, and suffer terrible tantrums and irrational behaviour as part of the grieving process. Children can grieve very differently to adults so it’s important to make the decision based on their current behaviour when trying to cope with the loss of a loved one.

The other grievers on the day

You know your family and friends best - how will people react in the worst case scenario of your child misbehaving? How will it feel for you on the day? It can be difficult for children to understand the grieving process and the intense mood of the day may have them reacting poorly to the quiet and the sadness of people they regularly see happy. If it is important to you to have your children at the funeral and you are not sure about the way they will react, taking along a friend who the child knows can be a good way to ensure you are able to attend the service without worrying about disrupting the funeral.

 

How close the child was to the relative or friend who has passed

Perhaps the most important thing to consider was the closeness of the relationship between your child and the deceased. A child may not react well to an open casket, which might have been the deceased request. An older child may also want to have been asked if they wanted to attend the funeral. If a child decides they do want to go, preparing the child for the environment can make it easier for them to process. It is natural for a younger child to be inquisitive, so answering questions and discussing the process of the funeral before attending can make understanding easier. Perhaps bringing them along to a meeting with the funeral director prior to the funeral will help ease their mind with another familiar face on the day.

For additional support and direction when helping a child through the mourning process, a good resource is The National Centre for Childhood Grief. It can be difficult to know exactly what to do under the circumstances of the passing of a loved one. A Lady Anne funeral director will be able to provide additional information to you and your family should you require some tools for discussing grief and mourning with your child. We're here when you need us.

 

For some guidance from our team in approaching the conversation around the funeral with your child, see our post on helping your child cope with the loss of a loved one or join our supportive Facebook community.

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Our compassionate all-female team are dedicated to supporting families in their times of need. We arrange beautiful personalised funeral services in the Ryde area.

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Lady Anne Funerals is here to support and assist your family through what can be a difficult time, with a ladies touch. 

We are available to discuss a range of services to support your family, including: 

  • Personalised memorial services
  • Cremation and burial services
  • Religious services catering to all faith's
  • No service, no attendance 

Please get in touch - night or day - via the form or you can call us on the number below.

Phone: 1300 74 00 74

904 Victoria Road, West Ryde 2114

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Some of the families we've helped

“I just wanted to send you our sincerest thanks for everything you and your incredible team did for us in making the most perfect day, celebration and farewell of our beautiful Harper.

I have given a lot of thought to your business and the industry and I think it is perhaps the most important business for families to get it right when it comes to planning a funeral which may be sudden or may be a long time in the making. Either way, when one is faced with the unfortunate situation of needing to arrange a funeral, only then do you realise the importance of getting it right.

We experienced first hand the polar opposites the industry offers. It is not just about the cars, the booklets, the music and all the things that make up the day - its about the service, the care and most importantly it’s about the people.

From our very first conversation we could sense your genuine care to our situation and your attention to detail was obvious - this was very different to the previous conversations we had with others we had been referred to. Those other companies wanted to commence meetings with the paperwork side of things upfront which is a very confronting thing to do just days after losing your loved one - and when one of the others that I am referencing couldn’t even refernece our daughters name as our meeting started - we were horrified of how poor the service of care could be.

This is where you and your team shine. After feeling very lost in our search to secure the perfect funeral director to create the perfect day, my wife all of a sudden recalled you standing out the front of your office each morning watering the surrounding gardens to ensure a beautiful front of house. Well, I can assure you, it is not just the front of house that is beautiful - its the entire package that is beautiful.

Your manner, your direction and your expertise is evident from the get go. Nothing is too hard for you or your amazing team. The personal care made us feel like we were the only funeral you were working with at the time, and that’s exactly how it should be.

The finer detail, such as driving past our house so our daughter could go past our house one last time, then leaving the most beautiful flowers on our doorstep, to bumping into us at the Church because you were just doing your own research to make sure the day was seamless. This combined with your recommendations from every aspect as everything was very foreign to us, you were able to guide us to achieve the most beautiful farewell.

The day itself was simply perfect. Not once did we have a concern. The car was shining, your team dressed beautifully, cold water provided for us, directions for our guests, directions for us. Everyone commented on how amazing the day was and how incredibly your team were. Seamless is the only word I can use. It doesn’t stop here.

Your personal care and guidance then allowed us a more intimate farewell the following day (we are so grateful for for this recommendation and possibly would have missed this special day if you had suggested it was the best idea). Again, you and your team made us feel like you had nowhere else to be, and no one else to help. Just us. The setting was beautiful, the celebrant (that you arrange and recommend) is a delightful, your team make this day even more special than the last.

This is something we never want to go through again but there will be so many others, that like us, have no idea where to start to look for the right funeral director for their own special day. All I can say is that I hope that they appoint Lady Anne Funerals. We learnt a lot quickly and it is again a business many do not ever consider needing but without question one of the most important businesses to select the right person and the right team.

I welcome any of your future potential clients to contact me if they wish to discuss our experience with the amazing Lady Anne team. We thank you for giving our beautiful baby the most incredible farewell that was exactly how we imagined it, you just made it happen.”

photo02_harper
Lee Dowdall
Karen has supported my Mum and me through the most difficult week of our lives as we not only planned a funeral, but interred my Dad to his new home. I will be forever grateful to Karen for her ongoing support, guidance, kindness, empathy and friendship over the last week. Karen has now become part of our extended circle of close family friends.
Daughter of the late Sveta Dordevich
Lady Anne Funerals has the compassion, understanding and empathy that many of the larger funeral homes do not possess. My aunts funeral was dignified and classy everything she deserved. I would highly recommend Lady Anne (and have) as they go above and beyond.
Joanne Marks
I am overwhelmed with the feedback on how beautiful it all was from all who attended. You and the other ladies were wonderful, looked so elegant, and made the day so very special for all who loved Paul.
Barbara Sommerville Enright
Karen and her staff treated us with the utmost respect we could not have been in better hands during this difficult time. My mum had organised her funeral with a prepaid funeral plan which she had purchased from Karen almost ten years ago this also made this upsetting time much easier to deal with and she got all the things that she wished for.
Malcolm Ellis
On behalf of my family, I would like to thank Lady Anne Funerals for a beautiful service yesterday for my aunt Dot. All who attended commented on how lovely the service was & the professionalism of all the staff. Thanks again very much for helping making a sad day one of celebration of Dot’s life.
Judith Neville

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