What To Give Instead Of Flowers At A Funeral

What To Give Instead Of Flowers At A Funeral

When attending the funeral of a loved one, close friend or in support of another griever, it can be hard to know what the etiquette for bereavement offerings are. With today’s multicultural Australia, we are surrounded by a wonderful diversity, which can make it even more difficult when wishing to respect peoples cultural customs and personal preferences. It's hard to know whether to take flowers, or what to give instead of flowers at a funeral or memorial.

For a long time, flowers have been commonly seen at funerals as an offering to the family and are broadly accepted across most cultural and religious settings. Your lady funeral director can make you aware of what to give instead of flowers if they aren’t culturally accepted for the service you are attending.

There are some alternative options to flowers that are commonly accepted as bereavement gifts. These gifts can support the family in a different way, though it's important to check each is appropriate for the family to accept as some cultures have rules around food and charity.


What to give instead of flowers


Charitable Donation

When receiving notice of a funeral, there may be a direction to offer a donation to a predetermined charity over offering flowers. When donating to a charity on behalf of the deceased, it is important to include the details of the family with your donation directly to the charity, so they can notify the family of donations received in their loved ones name. It’s important if you choose to donate to do so in a timely fashion and to the charity of their choosing. If you are not sure which charity it is, speak to our lady funeral directors who can help guide you, as they have organised of the service.


Photo and letter memorial book

If you knew the deceased and their family and friends well, a photo album, letter book or scrapbook of collected thoughts, feelings and memories can be a personal and touching gift. When collecting photos for the pages, try to go to sources outside the families for moments they might not have photos from themselves. Keep letters only from people who were close with the departed and the family. This gift offering can be a more comfortable gift for those who have trouble with etiquette and can be an easier gift for people in a less formal setting. Here are some tips to make a scrapbook if you’d like some help getting started.


Food offerings

Offering consumables to the family who are coping with the loss of a loved one can be a good support. It’s important to consider when you are going to drop around food, and what kind of food you are considering. Often the first few weeks there can be too much to even eat. Consider taking snack foods with longer shelf lives, gift cards for local restaurants or services like menulog or even doing a grocery run of toiletries, and other home necessities. Food is often appreciated, even if it doesn't seem so at the time. If you aren’t sure about food, and would still like to help, perhaps a gift card for a cleaning lady or coming to do it yourself is an option that surely lightens the load on the family of the bereaved.



If you decide to take flowers to the funeral home as a bereavement gift to the family, it’s good to plan in advance. It can be hard to know exactly what are the most appropriate funeral flowers. The all lady funeral director team at Lady Anne Funerals are on hand to help you with the most appropriate floral offering. It’s can also be useful to know why flowers have been used historically to accompany funeral ceremonies to decide whether it is appropriate in the setting.


All families are different and can have different needs and wants for the funeral service of their loved one. Ensure the information we have outlined  is applied with respects to the personality of the family. At Lady Anne funerals, we can always support you through making decisions when paying your respects, or to help you decide what is appropriate. For other helpful articles like this, please join our Facebook community where we share messages like these every week. You can join by clicking on the button below.


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Our compassionate all-female team are dedicated to supporting families in their times of need. We arrange beautiful personalised funeral services in the Ryde area.



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Lady Anne Funerals is here to support and assist your family through what can be a difficult time, with a ladies touch. 

We are available to discuss a range of services to support your family, including: 

  • Personalised memorial services
  • Cremation and burial services
  • Religious services catering to all faith's
  • No service, no attendance 

Please get in touch - night or day - via the form or you can call us on the number below.

Phone: 1300 74 00 74

904 Victoria Road, West Ryde 2114

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Some of the families we've helped

“I just wanted to send you our sincerest thanks for everything you and your incredible team did for us in making the most perfect day, celebration and farewell of our beautiful Harper.

I have given a lot of thought to your business and the industry and I think it is perhaps the most important business for families to get it right when it comes to planning a funeral which may be sudden or may be a long time in the making. Either way, when one is faced with the unfortunate situation of needing to arrange a funeral, only then do you realise the importance of getting it right.

We experienced first hand the polar opposites the industry offers. It is not just about the cars, the booklets, the music and all the things that make up the day - its about the service, the care and most importantly it’s about the people.

From our very first conversation we could sense your genuine care to our situation and your attention to detail was obvious - this was very different to the previous conversations we had with others we had been referred to. Those other companies wanted to commence meetings with the paperwork side of things upfront which is a very confronting thing to do just days after losing your loved one - and when one of the others that I am referencing couldn’t even refernece our daughters name as our meeting started - we were horrified of how poor the service of care could be.

This is where you and your team shine. After feeling very lost in our search to secure the perfect funeral director to create the perfect day, my wife all of a sudden recalled you standing out the front of your office each morning watering the surrounding gardens to ensure a beautiful front of house. Well, I can assure you, it is not just the front of house that is beautiful - its the entire package that is beautiful.

Your manner, your direction and your expertise is evident from the get go. Nothing is too hard for you or your amazing team. The personal care made us feel like we were the only funeral you were working with at the time, and that’s exactly how it should be.

The finer detail, such as driving past our house so our daughter could go past our house one last time, then leaving the most beautiful flowers on our doorstep, to bumping into us at the Church because you were just doing your own research to make sure the day was seamless. This combined with your recommendations from every aspect as everything was very foreign to us, you were able to guide us to achieve the most beautiful farewell.

The day itself was simply perfect. Not once did we have a concern. The car was shining, your team dressed beautifully, cold water provided for us, directions for our guests, directions for us. Everyone commented on how amazing the day was and how incredibly your team were. Seamless is the only word I can use. It doesn’t stop here.

Your personal care and guidance then allowed us a more intimate farewell the following day (we are so grateful for for this recommendation and possibly would have missed this special day if you had suggested it was the best idea). Again, you and your team made us feel like you had nowhere else to be, and no one else to help. Just us. The setting was beautiful, the celebrant (that you arrange and recommend) is a delightful, your team make this day even more special than the last.

This is something we never want to go through again but there will be so many others, that like us, have no idea where to start to look for the right funeral director for their own special day. All I can say is that I hope that they appoint Lady Anne Funerals. We learnt a lot quickly and it is again a business many do not ever consider needing but without question one of the most important businesses to select the right person and the right team.

I welcome any of your future potential clients to contact me if they wish to discuss our experience with the amazing Lady Anne team. We thank you for giving our beautiful baby the most incredible farewell that was exactly how we imagined it, you just made it happen.”

Lee Dowdall

“We wish to thank you for having helped us put together a beautiful farewell for our mother, one which she would have been delighted with.

It was a difficult day and it would have been worse without your synchronised, seamless and consistent presence as well as attention to detail.

We value your candour as the people you are and the very sensitive manner in which you conducted the service.

Thanking you from the bottom of our hearts,

The Pastore Family
Karen has supported my Mum and me through the most difficult week of our lives as we not only planned a funeral, but interred my Dad to his new home. I will be forever grateful to Karen for her ongoing support, guidance, kindness, empathy and friendship over the last week. Karen has now become part of our extended circle of close family friends.
Daughter of the late Sveta Dordevich
Lady Anne Funerals has the compassion, understanding and empathy that many of the larger funeral homes do not possess. My aunts funeral was dignified and classy everything she deserved. I would highly recommend Lady Anne (and have) as they go above and beyond.
Joanne Marks
I am overwhelmed with the feedback on how beautiful it all was from all who attended. You and the other ladies were wonderful, looked so elegant, and made the day so very special for all who loved Paul.
Barbara Sommerville Enright
Karen and her staff treated us with the utmost respect we could not have been in better hands during this difficult time. My mum had organised her funeral with a prepaid funeral plan which she had purchased from Karen almost ten years ago this also made this upsetting time much easier to deal with and she got all the things that she wished for.
Malcolm Ellis
On behalf of my family, I would like to thank Lady Anne Funerals for a beautiful service yesterday for my aunt Dot. All who attended commented on how lovely the service was & the professionalism of all the staff. Thanks again very much for helping making a sad day one of celebration of Dot’s life.
Judith Neville

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