Assistance In Dividing Your Loved Ones Possessions

Assistance In Dividing Your Loved Ones Possessions

After the funeral and the wake, the next hardest task to get through is dividing your loved ones possessions. These possessions often hold more sentimental value than their material value making the process delicate and likely stressful. The absence of prior arrangements such as a formal will can make it even more difficult, raising tough questions like: Who should be given what? What should we throw away? What should we keep?

The most important factor that will help the process is good family communication. Not every family talks openly with each other and often this does not change after a loved one passes away. Past events such as divorce, remarriage, relocation interstate or even abroad makes the entire process tedious and stressful. Sometimes it results in conflict. Effective communication is difficult but the good news is that it’s not impossible! Implementing some simple strategies, like the ones below, can ease the strain for everyone involved.


1. Choose a way to contact people

The first few weeks after the funeral arrangements can be a bit of a blur. To avoid overwhelm, decide the best ways in which you, the family, the friends and any carers can talk with each other and consider setting a date for when you divide the belongings. There is a lot of important information to be shared so decide how you can contact one another. Every family will be different; it may be via telephone, Skype, email or face-to-face. In a time when most people are a bit distracted, it's good to know where you can reach them to share information easily and keep everyone in the loop.


2. Elect a ‘spokesperson’

Consider choosing one person that can communicate to legal and financial professionals if the need arises (e.g. debt settlements). Your family ‘spokesperson’ can act on behalf of everyone and is more useful having one person calling rather than 5, 10 or more people on a daily basis. This person is normally elected in the Will to carry out any directions, though if no one is elected, it normally gets assumed by someone close to the person, family or family friend.


3. Make a telephone-tree

sharing memories

Make a family ‘telephone-tree’ so that each member knows who to call if information needs to be shared quickly. This takes the pressure off one person that has found themselves as the ‘go-to-person’. They might be strained to repeat the information over and over again and a telephone-tree can help to share information amongst the family without adding to the difficulty of the situation.


4. Make a ‘time capsule’

If dividing possessions becomes too tedious and stressful or is raising too much conflict, consider placing all the possessions into long-term storage. Agree upon a date where the family involved can meet again to divide the belongings under less stressful circumstances. It may be weeks, month or years ahead but it gives everybody the chance to grieve and approach the process with a clear mind. You’ll all appreciate having not made any irrational decisions under conflict or stress.


5. Communication is more than words

Remember that talking is not the only way to communicate. Silence carries meaning too; it does not mean those who are less talkative care less, they might just deal with the process differently. Make sure everybody gets a chance to voice their opinion. This may mean having a private conversation and simply asking “Is there anything you would like to keep/share/throw away?”. Going through a photo box, and the belongings of those who aren't with us anymore can be an impossible task, though using it as time to reminisce and celebrate their life can really provide some closure and a belly laugh if you're ready.
For more information, support and to join a community of people currently in the process of similar experiences, come along to our Facebook group. You are welcome to make conversation anytime. Just click the button below for access.


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Our compassionate all-female team are dedicated to supporting families in their times of need. We arrange beautiful personalised funeral services in the Ryde area.



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Lady Anne Funerals is here to support and assist your family through what can be a difficult time, with a ladies touch. 

We are available to discuss a range of services to support your family, including: 

  • Personalised memorial services
  • Cremation and burial services
  • Religious services catering to all faith's
  • No service, no attendance 

Please get in touch - night or day - via the form or you can call us on the number below.

Phone: 1300 74 00 74

904 Victoria Road, West Ryde 2114

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Some of the families we've helped

“I just wanted to send you our sincerest thanks for everything you and your incredible team did for us in making the most perfect day, celebration and farewell of our beautiful Harper.

I have given a lot of thought to your business and the industry and I think it is perhaps the most important business for families to get it right when it comes to planning a funeral which may be sudden or may be a long time in the making. Either way, when one is faced with the unfortunate situation of needing to arrange a funeral, only then do you realise the importance of getting it right.

We experienced first hand the polar opposites the industry offers. It is not just about the cars, the booklets, the music and all the things that make up the day - its about the service, the care and most importantly it’s about the people.

From our very first conversation we could sense your genuine care to our situation and your attention to detail was obvious - this was very different to the previous conversations we had with others we had been referred to. Those other companies wanted to commence meetings with the paperwork side of things upfront which is a very confronting thing to do just days after losing your loved one - and when one of the others that I am referencing couldn’t even refernece our daughters name as our meeting started - we were horrified of how poor the service of care could be.

This is where you and your team shine. After feeling very lost in our search to secure the perfect funeral director to create the perfect day, my wife all of a sudden recalled you standing out the front of your office each morning watering the surrounding gardens to ensure a beautiful front of house. Well, I can assure you, it is not just the front of house that is beautiful - its the entire package that is beautiful.

Your manner, your direction and your expertise is evident from the get go. Nothing is too hard for you or your amazing team. The personal care made us feel like we were the only funeral you were working with at the time, and that’s exactly how it should be.

The finer detail, such as driving past our house so our daughter could go past our house one last time, then leaving the most beautiful flowers on our doorstep, to bumping into us at the Church because you were just doing your own research to make sure the day was seamless. This combined with your recommendations from every aspect as everything was very foreign to us, you were able to guide us to achieve the most beautiful farewell.

The day itself was simply perfect. Not once did we have a concern. The car was shining, your team dressed beautifully, cold water provided for us, directions for our guests, directions for us. Everyone commented on how amazing the day was and how incredibly your team were. Seamless is the only word I can use. It doesn’t stop here.

Your personal care and guidance then allowed us a more intimate farewell the following day (we are so grateful for for this recommendation and possibly would have missed this special day if you had suggested it was the best idea). Again, you and your team made us feel like you had nowhere else to be, and no one else to help. Just us. The setting was beautiful, the celebrant (that you arrange and recommend) is a delightful, your team make this day even more special than the last.

This is something we never want to go through again but there will be so many others, that like us, have no idea where to start to look for the right funeral director for their own special day. All I can say is that I hope that they appoint Lady Anne Funerals. We learnt a lot quickly and it is again a business many do not ever consider needing but without question one of the most important businesses to select the right person and the right team.

I welcome any of your future potential clients to contact me if they wish to discuss our experience with the amazing Lady Anne team. We thank you for giving our beautiful baby the most incredible farewell that was exactly how we imagined it, you just made it happen.”

Lee Dowdall

“We wish to thank you for having helped us put together a beautiful farewell for our mother, one which she would have been delighted with.

It was a difficult day and it would have been worse without your synchronised, seamless and consistent presence as well as attention to detail.

We value your candour as the people you are and the very sensitive manner in which you conducted the service.

Thanking you from the bottom of our hearts,

The Pastore Family
Karen has supported my Mum and me through the most difficult week of our lives as we not only planned a funeral, but interred my Dad to his new home. I will be forever grateful to Karen for her ongoing support, guidance, kindness, empathy and friendship over the last week. Karen has now become part of our extended circle of close family friends.
Daughter of the late Sveta Dordevich
Lady Anne Funerals has the compassion, understanding and empathy that many of the larger funeral homes do not possess. My aunts funeral was dignified and classy everything she deserved. I would highly recommend Lady Anne (and have) as they go above and beyond.
Joanne Marks
I am overwhelmed with the feedback on how beautiful it all was from all who attended. You and the other ladies were wonderful, looked so elegant, and made the day so very special for all who loved Paul.
Barbara Sommerville Enright
Karen and her staff treated us with the utmost respect we could not have been in better hands during this difficult time. My mum had organised her funeral with a prepaid funeral plan which she had purchased from Karen almost ten years ago this also made this upsetting time much easier to deal with and she got all the things that she wished for.
Malcolm Ellis
On behalf of my family, I would like to thank Lady Anne Funerals for a beautiful service yesterday for my aunt Dot. All who attended commented on how lovely the service was & the professionalism of all the staff. Thanks again very much for helping making a sad day one of celebration of Dot’s life.
Judith Neville

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