How To Break The Ice And Talk About Prepaid Funerals With Your Folks.

How To Break The Ice And Talk About Prepaid Funerals With Your Folks.

Funerals and death have always been taboo conversation topics, with the stigma that even thinking about or talking about death and dying can bring about bad luck or energy. With this in mind, we’ve looked at how you can open up and talk about prepaid funerals with family members, focusing the conversation around remembrance and celebrating life whilst removing pre-existing stereotypes or stigmas against funerals and death. After all, a funeral is simply a celebration of a life!


We want to encourage everyone to be a part of planning their own life celebrations, having a say in how they want to be remembered, and even lessening the burden on loved ones after they pass. After all, what better time to plan and discuss how you want your life celebrated than when you’re still celebrating it, day to day?

 

How to start the conversation and talk about prepaid funerals 

 

Before you start a conversation, have an open mind.

 

Before you begin the conversation, be aware of any pre-existing stigmas and negative stereotypes you and those you wish to talk to may hold about death and funerals. This is an important point, as it would be harmful to reinforce the negativity surrounding these topics when you begin your discussion with those closest to you.

 

There are many reasons why funerals and death are stigmatised in conversation, and society has generally reinforced a negative attitude towards the two topics. Think about how you can discuss everything them in a way that will emphasise how you care, and want to make sure your loved ones are celebrated and remembered even after their life.

 

Be Calm, Open and Reassuring.


When you start the conversation with your loved one, make sure everyone is comfortable and calm. It’s a great time to grab a cup of tea. Don’t be tense, and make sure you are also comfortable with bringing it up in that moment. Since death and funerals are seen as heavier topics, why not open the conversation with a lighter ice-breaker? Some ways of doing so can be seen below.

 

Discuss or bring up a celebrity death 


Celebrity deaths can be a helpful icebreaker
for talking about both death and funerals, as they are often followed by large memorial services and public shows of affection. By bringing up the death of a celebrity you know the person cares about - or one they aren’t as attached to, for a lighter touch - you can more easily talk about more personal topics.

We’ve included some helpful examples below:

  • What did you think about how this celebrity's life was celebrated, and what were they remembered for?
  • How would you like to be celebrated and remembered?
  • What do you think you'd prefer for your own life celebration?

 

Talk about memories and 'the good old times'


Bringing up or asking about your loved one's’ favourite memories is always a good way to get them to open up and become more comfortable in the conversation overall, whilst remembering their own lives. It can also get them to realise that they would like these memories to live on, and can also be another good way to transition into talking about their wishes for their service.

Some questions you could ask include:

  • Are there any memories you want to pass on and have remembered by us?
  • How would you like these memories to be remembered and passed on to future generations?
  • Where are the photos, letters or mementos that you love best from that time?

 

What's your favourite?


Another good topic to discuss with those you care about most, can be what their favourite things are. When it comes to planning a funeral, the person’s actual preferences can be overlooked in favour of our own preferences; especially when we are under pressure and grieving. It’s very easy to assume you know what someone else wants!

Some preferences which are good to know include:

  • What’s your favourite colour?
  • Do you have any favourite types of flowers?
  • Would you prefer a smaller or a larger memorial service?
  • Have you got a favourite place?

 

Do you like being prepared?


Appealing in particular to those who enjoy being organised and ready for everything, asking directly whether they have a plan for what would happen if an older family member passes away can be another way to open up the conversation. While this approach is more direct, it can also be highly effective to put the idea of a prepaid funeral on the table from the get go, so you can be completely transparent about it, and get’s the conversation going for something to plan for themselves.

This also allows you to focus on the idea of celebrating their life, and giving them the awesome opportunity to be part of that while they are still living it! You can also use one of the other icebreakers to warm them up to the idea of a prepaid funeral, before going straight into a more direct approach.

Follow up questions include:

  • Have you thought about how we could lessen the financial impact of a funeral on the family?
  • How could we approach the planning process together?
  • Is there anything in particular you would like to happen at your funeral?

 

What should we do next?


When it comes to a conversation about prepaid funerals, the conversation can go back and forth quite a bit; and there’s no reason to end things after your first chat with your folks. We understand that it’s a tough topic, but we hope that everyone can see the value of talking about prepaid funerals, and going through the planning process together!


To assist you through the planning process, we’ve provided a handy questionnaire you can go through together to consider what you’d like and prefer for a life celebration. At the end of the quiz, you can easily print out the answers and attach it to a Will, or use it as a basis to plan a prepaid funeral. You can access your questionnaire via the button below.

We're here to help

Lady Anne Funerals is here to support and assist your family through what can be a difficult time, with a ladies touch. 

We are available to discuss a range of services to support your family, including: 

  • Personalised memorial services
  • Cremation and burial services
  • Religious services catering to all faith's
  • No service, no attendance 

Please get in touch - night or day - via the form or you can call us on the number below.

Phone: 1300 74 00 74

904 Victoria Road, West Ryde 2114

Let's Talk

Some of the families we've helped

“I just wanted to send you our sincerest thanks for everything you and your incredible team did for us in making the most perfect day, celebration and farewell of our beautiful Harper.

I have given a lot of thought to your business and the industry and I think it is perhaps the most important business for families to get it right when it comes to planning a funeral which may be sudden or may be a long time in the making. Either way, when one is faced with the unfortunate situation of needing to arrange a funeral, only then do you realise the importance of getting it right.

We experienced first hand the polar opposites the industry offers. It is not just about the cars, the booklets, the music and all the things that make up the day - its about the service, the care and most importantly it’s about the people.

From our very first conversation we could sense your genuine care to our situation and your attention to detail was obvious - this was very different to the previous conversations we had with others we had been referred to. Those other companies wanted to commence meetings with the paperwork side of things upfront which is a very confronting thing to do just days after losing your loved one - and when one of the others that I am referencing couldn’t even refernece our daughters name as our meeting started - we were horrified of how poor the service of care could be.

This is where you and your team shine. After feeling very lost in our search to secure the perfect funeral director to create the perfect day, my wife all of a sudden recalled you standing out the front of your office each morning watering the surrounding gardens to ensure a beautiful front of house. Well, I can assure you, it is not just the front of house that is beautiful - its the entire package that is beautiful.

Your manner, your direction and your expertise is evident from the get go. Nothing is too hard for you or your amazing team. The personal care made us feel like we were the only funeral you were working with at the time, and that’s exactly how it should be.

The finer detail, such as driving past our house so our daughter could go past our house one last time, then leaving the most beautiful flowers on our doorstep, to bumping into us at the Church because you were just doing your own research to make sure the day was seamless. This combined with your recommendations from every aspect as everything was very foreign to us, you were able to guide us to achieve the most beautiful farewell.

The day itself was simply perfect. Not once did we have a concern. The car was shining, your team dressed beautifully, cold water provided for us, directions for our guests, directions for us. Everyone commented on how amazing the day was and how incredibly your team were. Seamless is the only word I can use. It doesn’t stop here.

Your personal care and guidance then allowed us a more intimate farewell the following day (we are so grateful for for this recommendation and possibly would have missed this special day if you had suggested it was the best idea). Again, you and your team made us feel like you had nowhere else to be, and no one else to help. Just us. The setting was beautiful, the celebrant (that you arrange and recommend) is a delightful, your team make this day even more special than the last.

This is something we never want to go through again but there will be so many others, that like us, have no idea where to start to look for the right funeral director for their own special day. All I can say is that I hope that they appoint Lady Anne Funerals. We learnt a lot quickly and it is again a business many do not ever consider needing but without question one of the most important businesses to select the right person and the right team.

I welcome any of your future potential clients to contact me if they wish to discuss our experience with the amazing Lady Anne team. We thank you for giving our beautiful baby the most incredible farewell that was exactly how we imagined it, you just made it happen.”

photo02_harper
Lee Dowdall
Karen has supported my Mum and me through the most difficult week of our lives as we not only planned a funeral, but interred my Dad to his new home. I will be forever grateful to Karen for her ongoing support, guidance, kindness, empathy and friendship over the last week. Karen has now become part of our extended circle of close family friends.
Daughter of the late Sveta Dordevich
Lady Anne Funerals has the compassion, understanding and empathy that many of the larger funeral homes do not possess. My aunts funeral was dignified and classy everything she deserved. I would highly recommend Lady Anne (and have) as they go above and beyond.
Joanne Marks
I am overwhelmed with the feedback on how beautiful it all was from all who attended. You and the other ladies were wonderful, looked so elegant, and made the day so very special for all who loved Paul.
Barbara Sommerville Enright
Karen and her staff treated us with the utmost respect we could not have been in better hands during this difficult time. My mum had organised her funeral with a prepaid funeral plan which she had purchased from Karen almost ten years ago this also made this upsetting time much easier to deal with and she got all the things that she wished for.
Malcolm Ellis
On behalf of my family, I would like to thank Lady Anne Funerals for a beautiful service yesterday for my aunt Dot. All who attended commented on how lovely the service was & the professionalism of all the staff. Thanks again very much for helping making a sad day one of celebration of Dot’s life.
Judith Neville

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