How To Write A Euology: An 8 Step Guide

How To Write A Euology: An 8 Step Guide

Preparing a eulogy during the planning of a funeral is one of the hardest things most of us will have to do. It takes a lot of time and with a million other things on our minds, it's not always easy to find a quiet moment to sit down and write. Even if you do find a few spare moments, the emotional stress of writing can be enough to stop you from preparing the eulogy. Here's a great video that explains in eight steps how to write a eulogy.



1. Talk to people

Talk to as many friends and relatives of your loved one as you can. Ask them what they loved most about the person. You might even find out something that you didn't know about your loved one and this can be a really rewarding experience. See if they have any stories to tell and find out their fondest memories. Perhaps they knew your loved one before you were born or before you met your loved one. Most importantly, try to take some notes so that you won't forget details when you start to write the eulogy.


2. Gather your thoughts

Gather your own thoughts, memories, and stories about the person who passed and jot them down. For some people, this might need to be done in a quiet space without others around. If you don't think this can be done at home, talk a walk to the park or sit in a library where silence is appreciated.

For others, gathering their thoughts and memories is best done in the presence of others. There is nothing wrong with this but you should do whatever makes you the most comfortable and relaxed.


3. Find a theme

Look through your notes for a common theme. Perhaps everyone touched on the person’s generosity, or they all had funny stories to share about what a prankster they were. If you can identify a common theme, consider writing the eulogy based on all the similar stories and thoughts of your loved one. This will help give the speech some nice flow.


4. Get basic information

Add to your notes some basic information about the deceased: age at death, career highlights, biggest achievements, hobbies, and so on. Remember, if you're not sure on any details, check with others who were closed to your loved one. It's always best to be accurate rather than almost sure.

As well, jot down the names of the deceased’s closest survivors. In times of stress, names we know well can go right out of our head.


5. Write a draft

Write a draft, making sure it has a clear beginning, middle, and end. For example, introduce the deceased’s zest for life, tell stories that illustrate it, and close with a favourite saying or appropriate quote. If you're comfortable adding a little humour then do so but of course always avoid saying anything negative. A eulogy is not the time to rehash old arguments or differences.


6. Practice it aloud

Read the draft out loud either by yourself in front of the mirror or with someone listening. The length of the eulogy will vary depending on the religious or non-religious protocol of the funeral, so if you're not sure how long it should be then it is always a good idea to check with someone central to the planning of the funeral.


7. Revise

Make any changes you think are necessary, then ask someone close to the deceased to check your remarks for errors. Having another pair of eyes check over what you have written will save you and the audience from embarrassment as well as giving you peace of mind that everything is correct.


8. Carry a copy

Prepare to give the eulogy from memory, but bring a copy of it with print big enough for you to read comfortably — or for someone else to read in case you are too emotional to do so. Nobody expects you to remember everything by heart so don't be shy about making it easy enough for you to read and find sections of the speech with just a glance.

Elements of this post first appeared on Howcast.



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“I just wanted to send you our sincerest thanks for everything you and your incredible team did for us in making the most perfect day, celebration and farewell of our beautiful Harper.

I have given a lot of thought to your business and the industry and I think it is perhaps the most important business for families to get it right when it comes to planning a funeral which may be sudden or may be a long time in the making. Either way, when one is faced with the unfortunate situation of needing to arrange a funeral, only then do you realise the importance of getting it right.

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From our very first conversation we could sense your genuine care to our situation and your attention to detail was obvious - this was very different to the previous conversations we had with others we had been referred to. Those other companies wanted to commence meetings with the paperwork side of things upfront which is a very confronting thing to do just days after losing your loved one - and when one of the others that I am referencing couldn’t even refernece our daughters name as our meeting started - we were horrified of how poor the service of care could be.

This is where you and your team shine. After feeling very lost in our search to secure the perfect funeral director to create the perfect day, my wife all of a sudden recalled you standing out the front of your office each morning watering the surrounding gardens to ensure a beautiful front of house. Well, I can assure you, it is not just the front of house that is beautiful - its the entire package that is beautiful.

Your manner, your direction and your expertise is evident from the get go. Nothing is too hard for you or your amazing team. The personal care made us feel like we were the only funeral you were working with at the time, and that’s exactly how it should be.

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The day itself was simply perfect. Not once did we have a concern. The car was shining, your team dressed beautifully, cold water provided for us, directions for our guests, directions for us. Everyone commented on how amazing the day was and how incredibly your team were. Seamless is the only word I can use. It doesn’t stop here.

Your personal care and guidance then allowed us a more intimate farewell the following day (we are so grateful for for this recommendation and possibly would have missed this special day if you had suggested it was the best idea). Again, you and your team made us feel like you had nowhere else to be, and no one else to help. Just us. The setting was beautiful, the celebrant (that you arrange and recommend) is a delightful, your team make this day even more special than the last.

This is something we never want to go through again but there will be so many others, that like us, have no idea where to start to look for the right funeral director for their own special day. All I can say is that I hope that they appoint Lady Anne Funerals. We learnt a lot quickly and it is again a business many do not ever consider needing but without question one of the most important businesses to select the right person and the right team.

I welcome any of your future potential clients to contact me if they wish to discuss our experience with the amazing Lady Anne team. We thank you for giving our beautiful baby the most incredible farewell that was exactly how we imagined it, you just made it happen.”

Lee Dowdall

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It was a difficult day and it would have been worse without your synchronised, seamless and consistent presence as well as attention to detail.

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Joanne Marks
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Barbara Sommerville Enright
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Malcolm Ellis
On behalf of my family, I would like to thank Lady Anne Funerals for a beautiful service yesterday for my aunt Dot. All who attended commented on how lovely the service was & the professionalism of all the staff. Thanks again very much for helping making a sad day one of celebration of Dot’s life.
Judith Neville

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